USER/TAKER/EXPLOITER=PREDATOR
Narcissists and psychopaths do not form committed relationships that are (1) long-term or (2) based on any emotion.
Rather, they collaborate ad hoc, extract benefits, secure favorable outcomes, and instantly discard the sources when they are (1) no longer of use or (2) have turned maliciously hostile.
When narcissists and psychopaths are forced to return to the scene of a systemic failure (in business and in a relationship), they numb myself emotionally as they experience depression.
The only complete solution is to relocate, initiate new business, and start a new relationship with a new woman (establish a new Pathological Narcissistic Space).
A partial and inefficacious solution is to buttress their grandiosity by keeping very busy or by getting involved in a new venture with a new position.
Women: Are they mothers - or whores?
Narcissists and psychopaths abuse women - including sexually - as an ongoing test: Will they continue to be useful? Will they act with malice? What is their breaking point? (In other words: are they mothers - or whores?)
Narcissists and psychopaths are interested only in two types of interactions: (1) Adulation and (2) Stress testing limits and boundaries via abuse and sadistic sex acts (despoiling).
Narcissists and psychopaths are not interested in intimacy, friendship, companionship, or reciprocated adult sex.
MOUSETRAP (CHRISTIE)
The narcissists and psychopaths’s show is going on throughout their lives. The ensembles of actors change, but the play remains the same: the shared fantasy. The actors are interchangeable, commoditized.
Narcissists and psychopaths crave the state of shared fantasy because it is an exit strategy from their lives and allows me to not be themselves.
The shared fantasy is an organizing principle and imbues the narcissists and psychopaths’s existence with cinematic color, meaning, direction, thrills, and goals.
But, being a fantasy, this dream state is vicarious and, comfortingly has no real-life consequences.
When in a shared fantasy, the narcissists and psychopaths are "normal" and hopeful: they possess (faux, grandiose and erotomanic) "emotions", make (unrealistic and delusional) "plans", and are (manically) upbeat and energized. It is a self-induced, largely controlled, manic state, akin to Bipolar Disorder.
Shared fantasies come in three forms:
With a man
With a woman
Creative work
Shared fantasies are the only way out of the sometimes life-threatening clinical depression which invariably follows failures, injuries, and mortifications
Narcissists and psychopaths are actually not into sex (but into sadistic despoiling) and are not interested in money (but in economic security or power). Thus, their measure of self-actualization is the extent of time spent within the shared fantasies.
The narcissists and psychopaths’s lives are comprised of cycles of long shared fantasies, followed by short major depressive episodes.
During these long depressions, they hoard, collect, author texts, overeat, watch films, withdraw socially and romantically, avoid sex, shower frequently.
Only one type of shared fantasy is sufficient to sustain the narcissists and psychopaths’s wellbeing. When another person provides all three shared fantasy types combined it fosters unbroken attachment.
MEN
"Useful": able and willing to provide supply, services, and (far less important and dispensable) money, whether actually, or potentially (subject to circumstances, like the pandemic or business constraints).
Narcissists and psychopaths maintain FULL CONTACT (within a shared fantasy) with a man only when and only for as long as he actually provides all 3 (supply, money, services).
Narcissists and psychopaths maintain LIMITED CONTACT (during interstitial I) with a man only when he remains useful (actually or potentially, based on her track record) and even if he is hostile (providing he is not malicious).
Narcissists and psychopaths go NO CONTACT if the man is no longer of use, regardless of how he feels about them and about the relationship.
Narcissists and psychopaths go NO CONTACT if the man is malicious (even when he is useful, actually or potentially, based on her track record).
When in the limited and no contact strategies, Narcissists and psychopaths lose all interest in the man, they are not protective or possessive, not attentive or supportive, couldn't care less about him, his fate, family, crises he may face.
In limited contact, Narcissists and psychopaths limit the interaction to extracting supply or to receiving services or money.
Men exit the shared fantasy disillusioned, sad, and enraged, having realized that the narcissists ot psychopaths is a phantast, commitmentphobe, liar, loser, failure, misanthrope, misogynist, and sadistic abuser.
They give up on the narcissist and psychopath and resort to other men to do business with or befriend.
WOMEN
"Useful": able and willing to provide supply, services, and (far less important and dispensable) submissive sex, whether actually, or potentially (subject to circumstances, like the pandemic or family constraints).
Narcissists and psychopaths maintain FULL CONTACT (within a shared fantasy) with a woman only when and only for as long as she actually provides all 3 Ss (supply, sex, services).
Narcissists and psychopaths maintain LIMITED CONTACT (during interstitial I) with a woman only when she remains useful (actually or potentially, based on her track record) and even if she is hostile (providing she is not malicious).
Narcissists and psychopaths go NO CONTACT if the woman is no longer of use, regardless of how she feels about them and about the relationship.
Narcissists and psychopaths go NO CONTACT if the woman is malicious (even when she is useful, actually or potentially, based on her track record).
When in the limited and no contact strategies, narcissists and psychopaths lose all interest in the woman, are not protective or possessive, am not attentive or supportive, couldn't care less about.
In limited contact, Narcissists and psychopaths limit the interaction to extracting supply.
Women exit the shared fantasy disillusioned, sad, and enraged, having realized that the narcissists or psychopaths is a phantast, commitmentphobe, liar, loser, failure, misanthrope, misogynist, and sadistic abuser.
They give up on narcissists and psychopaths and resort to other men, for a night (S, B, L, N) or for life (N, K), to satisfy their unmet needs, but also as a way to triangulate, hurt, and punish narcissists and psychopaths.
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